nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
