WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
two words...techno handjob
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
