butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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