I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
