I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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