Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize