The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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