nut hugger
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
