You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
