got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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