I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
