after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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