Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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