i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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