I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need water and some morals
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
