Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize