in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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