why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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