lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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