He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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