he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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