so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
