My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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