it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
