Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
