Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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