yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
