the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
