why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
