Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
