you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
