He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
