sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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