farters have to be the big spoon...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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