$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
