I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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