Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
