a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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