This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
