I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize