Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
