I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
How external is "for external use only"?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
