Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
