he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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