But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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