you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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