i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
