be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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