He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
