Midget sex pt 2 tonight
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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