Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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