A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
