Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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