we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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