tell your sister to shave her snatch
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
