There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
