You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
