i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
