i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize