I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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