And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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